A little over a month ago, we experienced pregnancy loss - or miscarriage as most would call it. It was a devastating experience and my body and mind needed a lot of support after this experience. Here, I'll share how I supported myself after the loss.
I've shared a lot about my pregnancy loss on Instagram, and I'll continue to do so, but it felt important to share how I supported myself during that time. Here's what I did.
How I supported myself after miscarriage
1️⃣ Crying. I cried a lot, especially those first days. In fact, I could hardly stop crying, and that was okay. Crying helped me a lot. It felt like an important way to release the sadness and that first phase of grief. I cried when I talked about it and when I was still, I cried during the birth, and I cried when I listened to music.
2️⃣ Talking, when I wanted to talk. Especially in the beginning, I wanted to tell everyone, talk to people who had been through it, and hear kind words. Talking was, and still is, incredibly helpful for me…
3️⃣ … and being still when I needed stillness. Especially after those first two weeks or so, I often just wanted to be still and by myself, and I honored that.
4️⃣ Journaling. I wrote SO much. I knew my baby had passed away as soon as I started bleeding. The nausea was gone, the soul was gone. I wrote and wrote and wrote and wrote.
5️⃣ Rest. I was completely shocked by how tired I was. My body felt heavy and I had no energy. My mind was exhausted from the loss. I listened and rested. I slept a lot. Did lots of Nidra.
6️⃣ Massage. I had an amazing massage with some closing the bones elements, from Kate from @themilkandoilcompany . Highly recommended. I also used my hot water bottle a lot to ease the cramps in the first days post-loss.
7️⃣ I got Chinese herbs from my sister in law, who’s an acupuncturist in Belgium, which helped a lot with bringing energy back and supporting the return of my menstrual cycle. I couldn’t start right away because these herbs aren’t allowed to be sold in Norway, so I started with those 2 weeks postpartum when they arrived from Belgium. I also kept going to my acupuncture appointments.
8️⃣ The song Winter Bear from @cobygrantmusic still helps me a lot. After I lost the baby, I Googled ‘miscarriage music’ and then this song came up. It’s so beautiful, and so important.
9️⃣ Nourishing foods and drinks. I had hyperemesis during this pregnancy too, so I couldn't really eat any vegetables or fruits. As soon as my nausea disappeared (which was actually before I birthed the baby, but more about that later), I started craving healthy foods. I started eating veggies again, focused a lot on iron-rich foods to make sure I kept my iron levels up while bleeding.
In the days and weeks following the loss, I received so many messages, thoughtful gifts and beautiful flowers, I'm incredibly grateful for all that support and makes me feel so held and loved. Thank you, thank you, thank you.